Pause and Rewind

I never thought I'd sicken of
Monitor lizard goodbye kisses
I never thought I'd
stop bleeding
through infidelity
you remain faithful
to my God-figure icon of you
through every indiscretion
you remain discreet
and we discrete
in nightmarish footsteps I walk
chained to past decisions
as if I'd signed a
pact in blood
Unconsidered phrases
I pour onto the page
To maybe try to hide behind
This is the worst it gets
And I'm lucid
So my video recorder eyes
Have every second
In constant
Pause and rewind